(Susurros y Encantamientos)
I like to work improvisationally and step back periodically to see what has arisen. When I stepped back from this two-month collection of works as a whole, what struck me was the colors – an unusual palette for me – Mexico brought color into my blood!
From the Lips
20” x 16”
mixed media w/oils
From the Lips: Stories of the Process
During the making of these paintings, I was ensconced in a study of the divine feminine as articulated in The Gospel of Mary of Magdalene, (trnsl. Jean-Yves LeLoup). I was also concentrating upon shadow-work-oriented endeavors to liberate internalized dogmas and reclaim sovereignty, (heart, mind, VOICE) from the various and sundry ‘spiritual fathers’ of my past.
From the Lips - the design concept was catalyzed (in part) by a graceful depiction of the slit wounds in Christ’s palms…and how very vulvic they are my dears!
I was seeing a lot of red in/during my work and began exploring the somatic impressions of that hue: hot, passionate, rage: pumping blood. As I turned my attention to the living rivers coursing and thrumming beneath my skin, I reflected on the many occasions in which i have deferred my inner authority in order to confirm to precepts ordained by an external one: visceral memories of swallowing my voice and being too afraid to give voice.
I saw myself as the mountainous body of a volcano, lava moving beneath its surface. The urge to move that rage though my lips rises up in me. My inquiry: what is the image, the feeling, the sound, the potent potential of a voice raised in the service of wisdom? How can concentrated, scintillating, throbbing, anger be channeled intelligently so that it becomes a fire that burns away detritus and a wrath that does not abide injustice?
The imagery that emerged echoes the thought-in-act process; may these pieces carry the vibes of the ‘re-education’ and re-memorying they shepherded for me.
Wound. Seed. Chamber. Gateway
30” x 45”
collage, mixed media w/oils
…The paintings began with wild abandon: graffiti markings and dripping paint. Then, I began to identify and darken-in the motifs that frequently found their way into mind and sketchbook over the previous months: eyes reminiscent of Horus, and the Peregrin falcon that proceeded him, seed pods, vulval…, the narthex of a church…the shapes repeat themselves, taking on variation of form and purpose, yet unified of essence.
The two creatures in ‘Without Sin’ became the polarities of my mind, representations of yin and yang....finally arrived at peace: gazing into the same distance. The city behind is the chaotic backdrop of society.
My interest in by Jean-Yves LeLoup's interpretation of The Gospel of Mary Magdalene was further kindled at encountering her image so frequently in the streets of Guanajuato and extended to the beauty of the Coptic characters, (the original language from which the text was translated) which found their way into my painting. At the beginning of this work, I read:
Peter said to him [the teacher] "...tell us: What is the sin of the world?"
The Teacher answered:
"There is no sin...."
And I wanted to engrave those words in my mind, into my soul. I wanted them to efface the misinterpretation that is taught as doctrine far and wide. These words, (in Coptic) found their way into the ground of this piece many times over. I find that writing in an unfamiliar symbol-code frees my mind from habitual assumption and dismissal of meaning.
After a month, I thought this piece was nearly complete and I left it to rest, turned to the wall, fearing that tension might lead me to some destructive impulse. The bodies of the beasts remained empty. When a time of internal strife came upon me three weeks later, and I was tortured with states of mind at once familiar and terrible, I could find only fragments of relief in prayer and practice. Finally exhausted, I opened Magdalene's gospel one evening and found my balm:
...the seven manifestations of Wrath,
they oppressed the soul with questions:
'Where do you come from, murderer?'
and 'Where are you going, vagabond?'
The soul answered:
'That which oppressed me has been slain;
that which encircled me has vanished;
my craving has faded,
and I am freed from my ignorance.'"
I did not look for LeLoup's interpretation in those moments or the following days. I found that the repetition of this – what became a prayer for me – indeed loosened the bonds of my inner claustrophobia, anxiety and confusion and restored me to peace. Engraving the essence, (the highlighted phrases above) into the bodies of the beasts was a consecration of their re-union and a reclamation of prayer by a girl raised ‘middling Catholic’ with no sense of the Hermetic Truth or spiritual power at the heart of Christian mysticism.
Thank you Envision Arte and Gibran for inviting me to exhibit at your Gallery. You offered me the impetus I needed to persist and find completion when the going got rough. I could not have wanted a more intelligently engaged, (and masked) company on the night of the Ostara Equinox 2021.