About
Without Sin

BEHIND THE PAINTING….

These paintings, (From the Lips/Milkweeds/Wound Chamber, Gateway/Without Sin) began with wild graffiti and dripping paint. Next, I illuminated the motifs that had frequently found their way into mind and sketchbook over previous months: the Eyes of Horus, (or the Peregrin falcon that proceeded him) milkweed pods, vulva, the narthex of a church. 

My interest in Jean-Yves LeLoup's interpretation of The Gospel of Mary Magdalene was kindled further upon encountering her image frequently in the streets of Guanajuato, Mexico, where I was in residency winter 2021, and extended to the beauty of the Coptic characters, (the original language from which this text was translated). 

Peter said to him [the teacher]
"...tell us: What is the sin of the world?"
The Teacher answered:
"There is no sin...."

These words, (in Coptic) found their way into the ground of this piece many times over. Writing in an unfamiliar language liberates my mind from habitual associations and reduction of meaning. The two creatures are the polarities of mind, representations of reason and instinct – finally at peace, gazing into the same horizon. 

After a month, only the bodies of the beasts remained empty and I turned the painting to the wall for fear of some impatient or destructive impulse. Three weeks later, when the need to make a difficult decision loomed large, I was tortured with states-of-mind at once familiar and terrible. I could find only fragments of relief in prayer and (meditation) practice. Exhausted, I opened Magdalene's gospel one evening: 

...the seven manifestations of Wrath, 
they oppressed the soul with questions: 
'Where do you come from, murderer?’ and
‘Where are you going, vagabond?'

The soul answered: 

'That which oppressed me has been slain;

that which encircled me has vanished;
my craving has faded,

and I am freed from my ignorance.'"

I did not look for LeLoup's interpretation in those moments or the following days. The repetition of this – what became a prayer – loosened the bonds of claustrophobia, anxiety and confusion and restored me to peace. Engraving the essence, (the highlighted phrases above) into the bodies of the beasts consecrated their re-union and a reclamation of prayer by a girl raised ‘middling Catholic’ with no previous sense of the Hermetic truths or spiritual power at the heart of Christian mysticism.